I'm Back Online

Please excuse my rambling here I just feel like I needed to let some of my feelings out.

I'm sorry I haven't wrote anything in this blog.....
Who am I saying sorry to? ........
To the few pen pals that still write to me.......
and read this tiny little blog of mine....
Sorry to my pen pals who are waiting to get a letter from me.....
just feeling this way because I feel this way.....
Sorry that I come on here for 5 seconds and post just a few simple words.......
Sorry that I seem to be sick all the time......
Sorry to my mom that I can't always be by her in her time of need......
because these magraines keep me in bed so much.........
I'm just feel ing really down at the moment that's all.
I have been thinking more of my sister Stephanie lately.
How much I miss her......
How much it hurts to not hear her voice......
or see her face.....
I had a dream last night that Stephanie had come back home....
She came through that front door.......
came in like nothing had ever happened......
that the past 2 years she was away somewhere else........
that she just came back because she missed her family......
I ran up to her gave her the biggest hug I ever remember giving her.....
crying into her shoulders.......
telling Stephanie how much I loved her.......
how much I miss her smile....
how mom loved her, how much she missed those conversations with her....
how she made mom feel like everything was gonna turn out alright in the end no matter what the situation was........
In the dream Stephanie said how much she loved me. Then I just kept holding Stephanie trying to keep her here with me ......
if for just a few more moments......

I have been really sick these pass few weeks. On Aug 13th my mom had to call 911 to get an ambulance here to take me on up to the hospital.
I had by far my worst magraine attack by far to date.!!
I had this awful sharp stabbing pains going all the way to the top of my head.
It felt like my head was gonna bust clear wide open!

Mom actually found me on the bedroom floor kicking, screaming, crying my eyes out in agony.
I don't really remember how I got down on the floor that's the scary part.
While mom tried to help me off the floor she fell into my door putting the biggest knot on the back of her head. She had big bruises up and down her leg and arms.
I worried about her metal ball coming outta place on her right hip. She had her right hip replaced back in 2001. That caused her left leg to be longer than the other.

Her doctor x-rayed her left hip on Aug 18th and this is how he put it
"Sweetheart you have no hip." They loaded me in the ambulance one of the EMS guys tried to start an IV on me, but it didn't take. I told them that I had very deep veins and it's very hard to draw blood from me. They also put these plastic tubes that went around my face to my noe to give me oxygen. I'll tell you what I was trying to yank that oxygen thingy away from my nose while they attempted to start that IV!! They said take it easy and just relax. I felt like telling'em how can anybody relax when they are shoving a needle into you!!

Mom rode in the front when the EMS guys were helping her out mom slipped on a step on the ambulance and fell out on to the hard concrete!! They had to wheel her into my room by wheelchair.
When they got me in the ER it didn't take long for me to be seen by a doctor. They made me pee in a cup. lol A first time thing for me . So was the ambulance ride! I guess one of the EMS crew workers told the doctor not to try to draw blood. Cuz mom heard a EMS guy say "You can't get blood outta a turnip."
There was a really cute male nurse there. I think his name tag said BJ or VJ can't remember. But I do remember how damn cute he was! lol He had black hair that he had spiked up really cool. The only embarrassing thing that happened was when I was coming outta the bathroom with my pee cup. The cute nurse guy came over said I'll take that for ya sweetheart you go on in your room. I'm gonna get ya a shot to get you outta that pain. He came back with a shot alright a shot full of Imtrex. He said "I'm just gonna give you a little shot in the stomach." I was like "Oh Hell No! Oh No Way!!!!"
The cute male nurse said he gets the Imtrex shot in his stomach nearly everyday. He said the needlewas cute and tiny. Can't say I thought it was cute. Man did that every sting!! But it worked quickly to rid me of my agony. I actually fell asleep there in theER! lol

Last month our computer kicked the bucket. Had to wait til the 1st to rent another computer.
I went almost a month without getting online. I was about this(--)much away from going stir crazy from it. lol
Then the stupid phone company decided to shut off our service. Mom couldn't pay'em another $152 dollars again in the same month! They are totally ripping us off!! Then I had to wait again after getting the other lap top few more days to get everything straightened out with the phone company.

Hey Daisy!
I want to thank you so very much for the adorable little InuYasha keychain!! I put my mail box key on it cuz that is the only key I have. lol
But when I get my driver's license and my new converatible Bug I'm gonna put my very first car key ever on my InuYasha keychain. hee....hee....
I also want to thank you for the ooooh soooo adorable Card Captor Sakura figurine!!!
It has Sakura with Kero-Chan floating on top of the waterhose in a intertube and it has beautiful sunflowers that stand behind Sakura.
My mom even loves it!! Mom loves things with sunflowers on it!